


Please Live It With Me.

by MellMellMell



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Discussions about the past, Love, M/M, Pre-wedding heart to heart, and the future, fiances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:50:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellMellMell/pseuds/MellMellMell
Summary: Before their rehearsal dinner Robert and Aaorn have a heart to heart, and talk about many things that went before, and how things could be in the future.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! 
> 
> So I sat down to write more for Meeting Casey Mitchell, but instead I couldn't get this out my head. Guess that's what happens when you rewatch old angsty clips! So I hope you like it! Please let me know! You're response to Casey has been unbelievable and it's honestly so appreciated. 
> 
> Big Thanks to hannahfanficrobron for reading it first, and being so supportive! 
> 
> As was pointed out by hannahfanficrobron, I know that rehearsal dinners are not common place in the uk, buuuut I was watching friends and it just seemed sooooo Robert. Like you can see him telling Aaron that it needs to happen because his "family are a nightmare and the Dingles are always kicking off", and Aaron just rolling his eyes. So don't hold it against me that they are having one here!

"Hey, there you are, I've been looking all over," said Aaron, entering the bedroom, "we're meant to be-". 

One look at his fiancé, and he shut the door behind him. Robert looked pale, and deeply troubled, not even so much as looking up when Aaron entered the room. 

"Rob? We're meant to be having the rehearsal. Come on, you're the one who wanted it, you can't flake now," he continued, taking a seat beside him on the bed. 

"No I'm not, I just need a minute." 

"Anything I can help with?"

"No it's nothing."

"Come on Rob," sighed Aaron, "we're getting married in four days, don't shut me out now."

"I'm not Aaron, promise." 

Aaron commended his effort of trying to put on a brave face, but not even the half smile, and the hand he threaded through Aaron's, could hide the fact that Robert couldn't look at him for more than ten seconds. 

"Robert, I mean it. Shut me out now, and I won't be there on Friday." 

He didn't mean it, not really, but he knew it would push Roberts buttons enough to let him in. Nothing scares the older man more than the thought of Aaron deciding against him. 

"Maybe you shouldn't," sighed Robert, taking Aaron completely by surprise. 

"What?" 

"I said, maybe you shouldn't. Turn up I mean." Robert still wasn't looking at him as he spoke, and Aaron could feel his heart slowly ripping itself apart. 

"Don't you want me anymore?" Aaron whispered the question into the room, causing the air to feel heavy between them. 

"God Aaron, I want you so much," breathed Robert, his whole body slumping against his fiancés, his head coming to rest on Aaron's shoulder. He still hadn't looked at him, but the feel of Robert against him stilled his nerves somewhat, "but you deserve so much better than how I've treated you."

"Shouldn't I be the one to decide that?" teased Aaron, he knew that Robert would catch the reference immediately. The memory of the lake, the whispered promises of waiting till it was right, and the relief that the revelations about Gordon might not ruin them forever. The slight smile that fluttered across Roberts lips proved that he was reliving that moment too. 

"You haven't always picked the things that were best for ya."

"You are."

"I can't be.. being the best, well that's never really been me."

"Right Robert, look at me," spoke Aaron firmly, breaking the quiet, whispered atmosphere like a grenade, "you might not have been you're dads first choice, or Diane's, or .. Chrissies, you might have come second to somebody in everyone else's life but not in mine. I choose you. You told me the day of the crash that you chose me, well I choose you right back. Anyone could walk in those doors, Finn, Ed, some random; hell Jackson could rise from his grave and I would still choose you. You're everything, and all I want is you, me and Liv and wherever life takes us!"

"Why?" Aaron was sure that the combination of the tears in Robert's eyes, and how softly he had asked the question hurt even more than when he thought Robert was leaving him. 

"Because I can see a future now, where I never could before," for the first time since he had entered the room, Robert looked at him, "you asked me once if I ever thought about the future and I said not really, well that wasn't true. I did, a lot but I just couldn't see one. Between Gordon and .. well any future I might have wanted with you seemed like make believe and I - but not now, now I see years ahead and for the first time I can't wait to live them." 

The feeling of calm that coursed through his body when Robert smiled at him, properly smiled, was overwhelming. 

"What do you see?" asked the older man, genuinely curious. 

"I see Christmas's like the one just passed, with family, and a tree and you and Liv fighting over how the potatoes should be cooked. And me just enjoying that there are two different types," his fiancé just rolled his eyes at him, but the smile was still firmly there, "I see holidays, and grey hair and Liv leaving us and you crying and pretending you aren't. I see our little family getting bigger wither that's a dog or .. kids. I see all of it. With you, and I wouldn't want it with anyone else."

"You never said anything about children?" Aaron couldn't help mirror the grin on Roberts face, the idea clearly pleasing to him. 

"Yeah well," started Aaron, "I haven't overly thought about it. I just know that maybe one day that could be us. That's the beauty of it, we don't have to over think it, we just have to live it. Please live it with me." It wasn't a question, more of a beg. The idea of losing Robert now was more than Aaron was able to comprehend, "if you don't wanna get married we don't have to, I'll walk out there and tell everyone to go and that we are just gonna stay as we are. Cause we're happy as we are and that'll be that. But know that I want you, I wanna marry you, and I don't wanna marry you, I just want you."

"I want to marry you." It was a deceleration. And the it made Aaron flutter with happiness. 

"Thank God cause I really do wanna get married," smiled Aaron, making Robert laugh, "I didn't think I would, ever in my life. I mentioned it to Jackson, as you know, but I just wanted to make him happy, I didn't really care. But the idea of being your husband.. it's the best thing in the world."

"I feel the same," said Robert, leaning his forehead to Aaron's, noses brushing against each other, "I love you so much Aaron."

"I love you too, you know that right?"

"I know, an-"

"I know too." 

They sat like that for a few minutes. Heads together, eyes closed, the occasional brushing of lips. 

"I'm sorry I worried you,", said Robert eventually, whispering it to Aaron's face, not moving from his previous position. 

"Why did you? What's going on in that head of yours?"

Eventually they did move, Aaron pulling him up the bed so they could rest their backs against the headboard. Aaron knew they looked comical, sitting in bed in full suits. _It's our rehearsal Aaron, we have to look smart_. Aaron didn't have the heart to remind him that, weather permitting, they were having their wedding dinner in a field outside their barn. So he had just rolled his eyes and fished his black suit out of the wardrobe. His suit for the wedding was blue, and he had a feeling Roberts was maroon. But tonight they matched in black, and Aaron had already made plans to get Robert out of his suit the moment that dinner was over. 

After a few minutes of silence, hands clasped together and thumbs stroking rings, Robert eventually spoke. 

"I'd been thinking, about .. all the ways I hurt you before. And I don't just mean Rebecca or the stuff with Ryan, I mean before- before I got shot."

"Robert, we talked about this, it-". 

"Let me finish, please," Aaron just nodded, and waited for him to continue, "I hurt you so bad. I should have told you I loved you the very first time you said it, because I did and it terrified me. I would have saved so much trouble. I would never have married Chrissie, I would never have hurt you, and Katie - she'd still be alive, and Andy wouldn't be on the run. Not telling you that day was the **worst** decision I ever made."

"Robert, we can't go over the past like that, it'll kill us."

"It should've killed me, when I got shot, it was the least I deserve."

" _Deserved_ , you don't deserve that anymore. Yeah, then I hated you, I loved you, but man I hated you. But if you had died that day, or even left the village like mum asked, I would be dead too. Don't start, we both know it's true. I needed you when everything was going off with Gordon. And you can say all you want that I'm strong, and I would have been able to do it all without you but you're wrong. You're so wrong. I needed you to show me that I could _be loved_. And not just loved by family, but that somebody could know what he did and still .. fancy me. Still want me in that way, and still love me. I would have crumpled, without you, and I think I still would." 

"You deserve someone who has never treated you the way I have." 

"I had that, with Ed and I walked away cause I was bored stiff. What we have is messed up, and broken and hard but it's pure, and it's real and it's ours. I need someone like you, and you need someone like me. Someone who pushes, and tests and makes us feel things we never thought possible. Physically and mentally. I know I can rely on you, I know that Liv can rely on you and I also know that when I'm in foul mood that you'll argue with me until there are no words left and all you can do is push me up against the wall and fuck me senseless until I can't remember why we were arguing in the first place." 

Robert turned towards him, the cheeky grin on his face that always made the blood in Aaron's body run south, the very idea of messing up his suit long forgotten. He leaned over to Aaron, kissing him far more gently than either of them had anticipated. It wasn't a kiss that led to something else. It was a kiss that promised everything that Aaron had talked about, and apologised for everything that had gone before. When they pulled apart both men were breathless, but not with lust, but with an overwhelming feeling of love. More than ever before, Aaron was sure he was going to cry when they finally exchanged vows. And he was pretty sure Robert would too. 

"I'm sorry," mumbled Robert, still trying to kiss him as he spoke. 

"Me too,"

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"That's not exactly true is it?" Robert looked at him, pulling himself away from Aaron's lips like it was painful, "I'm sorry that I outed you, to Chrissie and by default your family and the whole village. And I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like I didn't care, that I didn't love you, because I always have. While you might not always have deserved it, I hate thinking of you and knowing that you thought I didn't. Especially when I think of you after the shooting, in Vics box room. I can't imagine how lonely you were." 

"If I'm honest Aaron, I needed it. Maybe not the outing, though I don't know if I'd have done it on my own; but the shooting. It refocuses things. It was one of the worst times of my life. There was this secret that I had kept for so long, everyone now knew, and I think, looking back, their support made me feel even worse, the fact that once the shock blew over, it didn't bother them. I spent so long hiding, because I thought they'd be disappointed and they weren't. Well they were about the affair but apart from the whole you being arrested for my shooting, Vic wanted me to be with you from the moment she found out."

"I get that, at least if they had kicked off, it would have made all the bad decision seem worth it?"

"Yeah exactly. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it, they were brilliant, especially Vic, she just knew I loved you and if I had had more faith in her, and Diane, well like I said, a lot of the things I did wouldn't have happened. And I'm not tryna blame them, I should have been braver." 

"It's not always that easy."

"No, it's not," said Robert, and Aaron could hear the sigh. 

"But like I said Rob, we can't go over the past like that, you aren't that person anymore." 

"That's because of you."

"It's because of a lot of things."

"Okay granted, being shot does put things in perspective. I mean, you can't do anything other than think about your life when you aren't allowed to do anything other than sit around and recover. And knowing that I had pushed Andy so far that he could do that, to have pushed a lot of people so far that half the village was under suspicion, well that changes things too. But you, giving me another chance, allowing me into your life, allowing me to help, well it made everything seem worth it. You're worth it."

"So are you. And Robert, I forgive you, for all of it, I did a long time ago."

"When?"

"It was slow, but when I was fully able to remember you in that car, willing to stay with me, even though you could of died.. well knowing how scary being that close to death is like you do.. it meant a lot."

"I'll never leave, even when I should."

"Thank you for that. I'll do the same."

"You better." 

They kissed again, no one really knowing who started it. It was like before. Slow, tranquil, full of promise and love and the idea of a life they were going to lead together. 

"Come on," spoke Aaron eventually, pulling himself up with a sigh and extending his hand to Robert, "we best get down stairs, Vic has been cooking all day and she'll kill us if anything gets burnt because we were making out in our room like teenagers."

Robert prized himself from the bed with a groan, pointing his finger at Aaron before he could make some comment about his 'old man bones'. 

As Aaron opened the bedroom door, Robert wrapped himself around him, arms round his waist, chin pressed against his shoulder. He didn't care that he had to bend his knees slightly, he was gonna stay like this the whole night; stuck to his Aaron like glue. 

Aaron shivered as Robert whispered in his ear, "when Mill is finished, and we move in after the honeymoon, we are going sneak away from family dinners and make out in our room like teenagers all we want." 

Aaron could feel his knees buckling with the sensation of Robert's breath in his ear. He was grateful that Robert had decided to stick to him as they walked down the stairs, he could blame the struggle to walk on the man attached to his back. 

"And if we're hosting, who's gonna entertain while we get busy upstairs?" he asked, hoping his voice wouldn't give away how effected he was. 

"Liv."

"Sounds like a plan." 

He swung himself around in Roberts arms when they reached the bottom of the stairs, shoving the taller man firmly against the wall. Their lips met in a heated kiss, the kind that almost hurts. Aaron could feel Robert crumbling underneath him, and it made him even more anxious to get dinner over and get him out of his suit. 

"When dinner is over, I am going to take each article of clothing off you one by one," breathed Aaron against his fiancés lips, "and I am going to kiss every part of you as I do. Then when everything is off I am gonna fuck you until you can't remember my name, never mind yours." 

He would deny it, but Aaron knew he heard Robert whine. 

"Let's go," grinned Aaron, pulling away from him and holding his hand out, which Robert took immediately, "sooner this is over the sooner we can get to it."

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


End file.
